Most Embarrassing Christmas Gift

Quite a few years ago my father introduced me to what would prove to be the most entertaining Christmas tool ever created. It is called Elf Yourself. It started out as a small site powered by JibJab and Office Max, it's main purpose was, and still is, to find horrible pictures of your friends and family, crop them to fit on an elf's body, and watch them dance while laughing hysterically. Since then, the site has grown a great deal and now includes not one, but several dances to choose from! You can also have up to four backup dancers (which means you can socially scar up to 5 people at one time). And, best of all, you can buy a mug imprinted with their face so they can forever remember that absolutely wonderful picture that you obtained.

Tutorial time! For those of you who have a hard time following simple instructions, I will walk you through the process of "elfing" yourself, or more likely someone else. I will be using a picture that my dear friend so graciously gave me permission to edit with the promise of one excellent Christmas present, and I will stay true to my word.

First, you will need to navigate to Elf Yourself, which I have obviously provided the link for. Time to get started! Rotate, zoom, and nip & tuck your picture until it fits perfectly within the lines:

Excellent.

Moving on to the next step. Now you can make more elves, clone your current elf, or continue. This time I'm just going to continue on to the dancing stage. Choose the dance that you want performed...

I chose Disco.

And now, simply sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Oh, and try not to wet yourself laughing:

As you've probably noticed, I decided that a group of dancing clones would be a lot more spectacular than one single elf. My favorite dances include the Charleston, 80's, and, of course, the Orginal.

If this wasn't good enough for you, there is another site that will never fail to impress me. For those of you who are not satisfied with the picture you were planning on using, there is a way to edit it, a very seamless way, I might add. Capable of giving any picture, or person, an upgrade at any time: InStyle Makeover. This tool is pretty self explanatory/I don't feel like explaining how to use it, so knock yourself out. Fortunately for this elf, I think that this picture and video combo is fantastic as is, so I'm not going to mess around with the whole makeover thing.

So there you have it. Make videos, memories, and possibly enemies with this wonderful, and embarrassing, tool.

Adult Swim

Cartoon Network is a scary channel at night. Well actually, Cartoon Network is a bit scary during the daytime too. As anyone who has ever seen any show on this channel will probably tell you, these are the strangest shows that have ever been aired/viewed. Upon watching Courage the Cowardly Dog and Powerpuff Girls when I was younger, I didn't notice anything odd. Now, on the rare occasions that I do see my favorite childhood shows, I do notice the oddness. Generally Courage the Cowardly Dog is just a weird show. Every episode is just as strange as the next, and sometimes even scary, but I have already done an entire rant on this show so I will now move on the Powerpuff Girls. This seemingly innocent show is actually anything but: have you seen the villains? Mojo Jojo for example is a criminally insane monkey with his brain hanging out of his head.

 And what about my personal favorite; Him? This villain's gender is still under question despite what the name implies, if you don't believe me just watch this:



Despite my criticism I still love the Powerpuff Girls and all of their ridiculous foes, especially Him.

Now I shall move on to Adult Swim. Adult Swim is what Cartoon Network morphs into in the evening, which is to say that the shows are equally as "unique," but include strong adult themes, hence the name. I rarely stay up late enough to watch any of these shows, but on the off chance that I do happen across one of them, I know that I am in for a show that will never be forgotten. With shows entitled "Robot Chicken" and "Assy McGee" you will receive a pretty blatant warning as to what you are in for, but then again maybe not.

About a week ago, while I was hastily finishing up one of my blog posts, I received a text from my sister which read something along the lines of: "watch adult swim right now." Being an experienced Swimmer, I knew right away that I was going to be shocked and disturbed by what was about to pop up on my computer screen, and I was right. The show that I witnessed was called "The Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! Chrimbus Special."

Just be glad I didn't include a video clip with this one.

The best show I have ever been introduced to on Adult Swim is called "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law." Actually, my sister is the one who introduced me to this wonderful show. Unfortunately, it is almost never aired on Cartoon Network anymore. Sad, I know. Here is a preview of the wonder that is Harvery Birdman:

What did I tell you? Excellent, right? Well that is the end of my rant. I guess what i'm trying to say is "Beware of Cartoon Network." But, if you are brave, curious, bored, or all three, you should take the time to explore the water, so to speak.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Over the summer my family obtained Netflix. We all automatically became obsessed with watching hundreds of movies per week, sometimes per day. While scoring the films in the Instant Queue, my sister (the oldest one, as in the not crazy one) came across an interesting Indie Dramedy entitled "Me and You and Everyone We Know." The movie commences with a strange artist creating an odd monotone poetic commentary for her artistic works. The rest of the movie is equally odd, including the best scene ever created in all of filmmaking history. I simply call it the "Back and Forth" scene:



As you may have noticed the whole "Back and Forth" story is continued in this video. The whole thing is a little hard to understand out of context, but it is super hilarious if you have seen the movie. The "icing on the cake," or whatever you would like to call it is unfortunately left out in this video, so I shall tell you. SPOILER ALERT! The lady sitting on the bench happens to be a very influential, and very harsh, art show coordinator. The main character tries, without success, to have her art shown in her display. Small World eh? Hence the title "Me and You and Everyone We Know." So anyway, at the end of this whole "Back and Forth" sequence, the banner to this women's art show is shown to reveal none other than, you guessed it, ))<>((. You'd have to watch the video above to understand exactly what significance ))<>(( has.

Top 3 Christmas Songs

Since I have absolutely no other ideas at the moment, I suppose I'll just do a short rant on Christmas music. Some people love it, some people hate it. I happen to love it. The old stuff, at least. I hate the new pop and hip-hop remixes of originals - gross. I love Hippopotamus and White Chrustmas - you name it. But my personal favorites rank as following:

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time - Paul McCartney

Note: while browsing for a decent replacement music video on YouTube I found a Demi Lovato version of it. I cannot describe the revulsion and disappointment I am feeling right now.

Step Into Christmas - Elton John

Elton John is just so amazing.

Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses

Excellence.

I apologize for the lack of original music videos, but believe it or not there aren't any out there, and live is just unexceptable. So there you are. I hope you enjoy my suggestions and share in my hatred for covers of originals.

Sequel Equals Reekuel

Why are sequels so horrible? I honestly don't understand. More so I don't understand why sequels even exist. I mean why does it matter what happens after Shrek marries Fiona? Who cares? Why is it necessary to continue to portray the thousands of possible alternate realities. I just don't understand. I actually somewhat enjoyed the second movie, it was interesting incorporating Fiona's parents, Prince Charming, Puss in Boots, and human Shrek into the movie, though it seemed like a completely different series. Come the third movie I was sorely disappointed. And as for the fourth movie? I refuse to even watch it. I mean in an alternate reality where Shrek doesn't marry Fiona she would STILL BE A PRINCESS! Not an ugly ogre superhero, or whatever she was supposed to be. I mean she had plenty of men interested in her: the King, Prince Charming, I mean surely one of them would've broken the curse. I mean what has this once great Pixar comedy come to? Resorting to sequels, please!

Unfortunately, Shrek is not the only series guilty of sequels. Take for example Air Bud. That dog lost popularity in the 90's. Come on. Just end it. And The Princess movies? What are you trying to prove?! Are you trying to make everyone hate you by destroying classics? Well guess what? It worked. In Cinderella 2 an ugly stepsister finds happiness and a mate. NO. She doesn't deserve happiness because she is too mean and ugly. In the second Little Mermaid movie Ariel has a twelve-year-old daughter. NO. Ariel is what, 16 in the first movie? I don't see much difference in her appearance in the second movie. Also, her daughter is super annoying. I don't think Ariel would have such an annoying daughter:

Again, no.

Now as usual my point does have another side. Think Harry Potter. I think most people would agree that the first movie is not the best movie. The reason for this? The series is based off of books. Each book builds on the previous so that the series as a whole only makes sense after reading every single book. You don't have to watch the fourth Shrek movie to know that it is stupid and pointless.

But what about other good sequels not based on books? You may ask. Well, I think that Toy Story is pretty darn good. But think about the time period between the second and third movie: years. The creators of the movie were planning on making sequels right from the start, they didn't just decide to make one last movie spur of the moment. The movie was meant to go on. It was meant to apply to the generation of kids who loved the first movie and who will love the third movie.

The one thing that really just kills me is when they change actors. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Oh our audience is too unobservant to notice the complete reconstruction of one of the main characters. Uh, no. We will notice. And we will hate it. You can't just replace Macauly Culkin, he makes the movie! What was the point of the sequels? I know I've never seen them. So what was the point of wasting money to make them? Another movie: The Mummy. How can you replace Rachel Weisz? She's a main character. Why even make the movie without her? Everyone will know and everyone will hate it. The result of replacing an amazing actress: a horrible hokey sequel. Truth is, Rachel Weisz refused to participate in the 3rd Mummy movie because the script was so badly written:

The same source that broke that original info to us contacted me tonight to update us on why Weisz left. Our source says, “the script is still in the same shape that it was the last time I told you about, meaning that its still crap and Weisz finally took the high road out of there.” It sounds like even if they do manage to get other key cast members to participate, it won’t matter. It will take a miracle to make The Mummy 3 good. (cinemablend.com)

So yeah. Sequels are horrible unless they are planned before the first movie. I honestly don't know why they exist. I mean, they can't bring in as much profit as the original. I guess I will just never understand what really goes on in the film industry.

Someone Please Explain to Me What is Even Happening!

What do music videos do for the song they are created for? Some have seemingly no relation to the lyrics or even the style of the song, yet those tend to be the more interesting videos to watch. Accoring to Wikipedia, music videos are used primarily as a marketing device. But how do body builders going up against drag queens make the song anymore popular? I mean sure it's interesting, but WHAT?! Here's what I mean:



Now does this video seem to fit this song? I think not. That being said, I do still love the song itself and I find the music video fairly amusing.

Another interesting video i've come across while browsing Youtube for music is the song Evil by Interpol. This video features a strange human-like puppet suffering from trauma after a car crash:



Odd right? Well somehow it works with the song, even though it is quite creepy.
This last video is one that my sister showed me, which actually fits the song pretty well, though, again it's a little on the creepy side:



So those pretty much prove my point that music videos, or at least the ones associated with the music that I listen to, have nothing to do with the actual song itself. And then, of course, there are the popular music that plays on the radio.

If you've seen any other MTV or Disney channel music videos, you will notice that the majority of them actually somewhat follow along with the meaning of the lyrics and tell a story. Granted, I am making a few generalizations but you know what I mean.
I personally prefer the unrelated music videos, the strangeness of them makes the already awesome song that much more interesting. As I have said before, my favorite music style is indie. As the music itself is very individual, it would make sense that the videos would be too. So, as my parting, I will share with you what is quite possibly the most confusing/amazing song/music video combo ever created, try not to wet yourself:

What's All This Craze About Harry Potter 7?

Yes. I have seen Harry Potter 7. It was excellent. I was one of the millions of people who flocked to the theater to see the beginning of the end of Harry Potter. The saga is almost complete. The story is getting progressively sadder and more realistic as the trio of wizards face the horrors of hiding out in the real world, always worrying about the family and friends that they left behind. Death is in the air and Harry and his friends know that it's coming for them next. And cut. Cliff hanger! The new Harry Potter does not fail to impress me. I have heard a lot of people say that the newer Harry Potter movies have been lacking, and though I disagree, I think that everyone can agree that this was one of the best, if not the best installment of the Harry Potter movies. I'm not saying it's my favorite, as my favorite will forever remain Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It was definitely way different than any Harry Potter yet. When reading the books it is hard to imagine a world outside of Hogwarts, but I think that this movie did an excellent job of portraying the settings and making them match the tense and depressing mood without having much to go on. We, the viewers, are finally forced to stop thinking of Harry, Hermione, and Ron as adults rather than children, which isn't hard as Harry is often topless. The only downside I see to it is Voldemort. And this has actually been a problem since the 4th movie when he first appeared in his human-ish form. He just isn't intimidating! What's worse is seeing him actually makes me laugh. That's just not right. He's just so strange! The way he says things, his mannerisms, it's just all wrong. I could say the same about the "new" Dumbledore, but those who have seen the newest movies know why that would be an irrelevant concern. Despite Voldemort and his quirks, the movie is great and everyone should see it. But only after watching all of the other movies! Here's the trailer (for both parts): Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Beginning of the End, or is it End of the End?

I finally finished the Lost saga, though I finished with a heavy heart. I suspect that there are very intense feelings about the season finale, some good and others not so good. The series ended like every episode ended, in a confusing cliff-hanger that leaves the viewer wanting more. Though I found the ending quite satisfying, I noticed that a lot of questions were left unanswered, which is a good reason not to like the ending. I have done a little research to see what other people thing. Here is the preface for the Los Angeles Times article on the topic:

If "Lost" guaranteed anything with its terrifically moving but mythology-deprived series finale, it's that the show will go on, as fans spend the summer re-watching and analyzing what "The End" offered and what, others argue, it failed to deliver.
The finale episode drew a respectable 13.5 million viewers, but by not attracting the huge finale audiences of other classic TV shows, the ABC series cemented itself as a cult phenomenon.

One major problem contributing to the mixed feelings over the ending is the masses of people that were interested in this show. Everyone is different. And since the show left a lot of wiggle room for the viewer to decide what they wanted to happen, when the end actually came and they did or didn't see what they wanted to see, the debate began. It is no surprise that people were put off when the show had to be explained out of context, but then another argument comes up, if everything was explained during the show, would that make it better or would it ruin the general effect? I believe the first. The show was great as is and the ending left the viewer thinking. I know it took a while to sink in after I saw it. I found myself day dreaming during school about what could've, would've, or, in my opinion, should've happened. I think this is a necessary quality for a truly good show. It should make the audience think. There are too many mindless reality TV show nowadays. Like I said before, originality is good. Lost, however, is like a jigsaw puzzle. You need each episode to understand everything. Miss one and the final picture is incomplete. Unfortunately, I missed several from the first season so that probably adds to my confusion.

I have another review coming up and I would first like to say, besides the fact that this is from someone who really hated the ending, there are detailed descriptions of exactly what happens in The End. So here goes:

Those who spent the better part of the last six seasons wondering where in the heck the sometimes frustrating, almost always entertaining mystery could possibly go finally got their answer. If they can make sense of it, that is.

In the end, the electromagnetically charged mystery island gave way to a hug-filled waiting room leading to a pan-spiritual afterlife, led by the aptly named Christian Shephard. Whew!

It’s a daring way to end “Lost” — leaving plenty of questions unanswered and winking out on what has to be its least satisfying twist to date.

At least no one can say they saw that coming.

Again, this is only an excerpt from the whole story, but you get the point. When browsing through the articles having to do with the Lost finale, I hardly found any articles praising the writers for their work on the ending, but I did found one which is necessary to show all sides of the story:

Thrillingly, cleverly, and in a manner that tapped into the simple, profound truths of great American works like Our Town, the show spelled out for viewers what it has been saying all along. Lost is about life and death, faith and science, spirit and flesh, and has always stressed that the title refers to the characters' souls, not their location.

So there you have it. All opinions on the end are adressed. Almost. Close enough. Now all that's left is for you to watch the show and form your own opinion about the ending and then post it in my comments. Happy losting!

Total Life Forever

I was recently introduce to an amazing new British Indie Rock band called Foals by my sister. From the moment I heard their first song my mind was instantly and officially blown. It's funky, it's fresh, it's fantastic! Here's a sample of their best song, in my opinion: Total Life Forever. Moving away from Foals and into the broader topic of Indie music in general, some of you may ask: What is Indie music exactly? Well, as provided by Wikipedia, the definiton is: In popular music, independent music, often shortened to indie music or "indie," is a term used to describe independence from major commercial record labels and and outonomous, Do-It-Yourself approach to recording and publishing. Hmmm, and I always though indie was shord for Indian. Despite my ignorance to the origin of the name of this musical style, I have grown to love it. It is hard to explain what the sound is like. Some might call it trippy, others mellow. I call it amazing. One distinctive feature is the simple guitar riff, which is what I like most about this style. That paired with very talented musicians. In our world today there is a popular belief that anyone can sing. While it is true that anyone can sing, this does not mean that everyone can sing well. Take for example Disney channel. Now i'm not saying that all of them are bad at singing, but it should not be necessary to use that much technology on someone's voice. Especially when that person is famous soley for that purpose. It's like cheating. That's another thing that's good about indie music; originality. My biggest fear is that indie music will become a new fad to use and abuse, like so many other good styles before it. Part of it's authenticity is it's secrecy. When discussing music with my friends, or anyone for that matter, I often find that they have no idea who I am talking about when I mention Interpol or The Delgados, or sometimes even Stars. Of course there are some pretty well known indie bands such as Radiohead, but I still rarely ever find someone else who shares my love for indie. Though indie could be beneficial to society by restoring some of the originality that used to be necessary to become famous, but has as of late become a minor requirement, I am glad that this style remains shrouded behind the curtain of popular musical genres.